So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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