Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Edward fifth and chaser hands
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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