My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
