hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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