On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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