whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
