Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
