He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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