I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
All the doctor said was why
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
