Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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