the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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