sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
