it was like his penis was on wheels.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
