So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
jump out the window naked night went bad
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize