Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
