why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
