So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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