So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
