So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
