You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize