I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
They have beer where we have blood.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
