i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
