Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My feet surprised me
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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