i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
