You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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