You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
