I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
