Farmville is her only friend.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
