That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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