You smell like a Billy Joel song
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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