Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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