I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize