Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
