He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
