By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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