Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Welp...herpes.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
