Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
