i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
