He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
