I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize