OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
