how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
