I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
