This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize