Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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