Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
