I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
