There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I believe in your delicious
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
