marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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