I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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