nut hugger
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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