We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
