After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
