apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
