so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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