It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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