He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
