Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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